The Last single girl

My ONLY single girlfriend now has a boyfriend.

She made me meet him today. It was atrocious.

They kept having their side conversations. Those use to be ours.

She kept filling him in on the details. More side conversations ensued.

I tried to hold back my gag reflex and my eye rolling to a minimum. If you know me, you'll know that I read like an open book. My facial expressions are a tell all, and I'm shit for lying. I kept reminding myself over and over again that this is POSITIVE. I'm HAPPY for Lindsey. (Because somewhere deep deep deep, under my selfish, self-loathing, bitter crumujin layer....I really am happy for her.) Unfortunately everything that lies on the surface of my emotion is jealousy and a scab away from that is sadness that now my friend has a new best friend. Someone else that I'll have to share time with, and schedule "girl" time with.

The most preposterous thing about all these shenanigans is that I almost committed to giving eharmony a try. I WANT A PARTNER. I WANT A BOYFRIEND. I WANT SOMEONE TO REST MY HEAD ON AND HAVE SIDE CONVERSATIONS WITH. BLEH. (sorry about the caps locks).

I have this girl at work - who I earlier caught remarking that she was an "old spinster". I asked her how old she was and she (of course) remarked that she was 26. "Great" I thought....and followed it up with "of course". Recently, during one of our in-between-running-food chats, she revealed that her best and last single girlfriend just got a bf. I told her it was happening to me too! We embraced each other like we were on the titanic. I kid you not. And now every time we see each other we tell each other that the other is NOT allowed to get a boyfriend (first). Boyfriends have now become life jackets in the hopeless sea of singleness. If I'm going to take it a step further (and I always do) a boyfriend would really be a life boat. I go on several dates still and have at least 2 guys who are really interested in me, but going out with them is like floating in the frozen water holding on to the life jacket : ideally, it's suppose to save me but the frozen water is going to kill me anyway. Yes, I said the word kill in my metaphor. Is that like dying in your dreams? If you do, you die in real life? Well, that's not true either because I've had dreams where I've died - twice. Maybe I really am screwed.