A reoccurring theme this year, I may have already touched on : A complete lack of follow through. I am walking through a cloud of personal growth and exploration this year and intermittently men will appear out of the mist and slide back just as quickly into another pocket of it. As they come into focus they say things like, "lets hang out" "I want to spend more time with you" "I like you" and that is the last thing I hear before they disappear.
I had all but figured out this game of mirage when the world took it to the next level.
There is a man at work who offered to let me buy his dresser. I truly believed I manifested this experience because of late, I had been looking much closer at my dresser situation and thinking about what kind of dresser I would like to have. Then one day, "Hey Kyla, do you by any chance need a dresser?"
"Yes!"
"I'll sell it to you for $75, 1940's art deco, mahogany, 5 drawers."
"Um, PERFECT!"
Yesterday I get a call. "I'm soooooo sorry, but I'm not going to be able to give you the dresser because my mom really wants to keep it in the family."
Honestly, I get that. I respect the family heirloom issue. Have you met my mother? But in all actuality, this is another instance where the world is telling me to not hold my breath. Another smack down in the game of high hopes. A secured transaction slid into a pocket of mist.
I know this sounds like a lot of wah wah wah, but I'm trying to figure this out. I am desperately trying to learn the lessons of this year. I'm pretty damn stubborn and am really not getting it so easily. Fortunately for me, the world keeps drilling it into me one empty promise at a time.
Wow. Way to end on a high note.
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