Crazy town.

I guess I haven't posted in awhile because, well, 27 wasn't looking so bad for a hot minute. I have 2 great jobs, my earrings have started to sell like hot cakes (which reminds me I need to get on my 3rd launch already : kissmysass.bigcartel.com) and I stopped thinking about boys....for about 5 seconds.

The "biter" only happened a few weeks ago, and I've been beat down by the pace of all my business, but it didn't stop me from being asked out by 3 new suitors. I tell you, I don't make this shit up....people come out of the woodwork. And then....suddenly here - now gone! (kara what movie?)

I started to tell myself that I would get on eharmony when people stopped asking me out. Unfortunately, the dates keep coming and still no relationship is to be found. Something something...doing something the same way and expecting different results.

I would like to believe that eharmony is in fact doing something differently. And only after writing this down am I starting to believe it is the logical next step. It might be like a dating rehab. Yet at the same time...I feel like if I go down that path and get JUST as disappointed with my dating situation, then...I'm hopeless. Eharmony in some pathetic way is my last hope for a real relationship and I'm not ready to be hopeless. Until rehab - this is what I'm working with :

In the last few days, I went out with a boy who asked me out while I was busing his table at the Kennedy School. We went out to coffee, talked for 3 hours, had TONS in common, end of date he kissed me, then gave me another good bye kiss (which I haven't had in such a long time) and we made plans for me to go to his concert after work last Saturday. I distinctly remember saying, "you are my Saturday night plans." Two days later.....the text : "I don't think you should come to the concert, my ex girlfriend will be there and it might be too much." My immediate reaction is (clearly the wrong one - I need to work on this) -

a) get pissed off because he just broke OUR date for his ex girlfriend

b) say, no worries, I'll let you make it up to me later

c) text back, "thanks for wasting my fucking time"

d) no response.

B.

B!

I feel like that makes the most sense. I genuinely felt laid back about it, we're not together, he was being upfront about his feelings. But was I? I AM pissed, I DO feel like he wasted my time. And I could have said all that with no response. That would have been different too....if I would have put my feelings out there and then let him decide how he was going to respond, rather than me taking it for the team.

Sunday night rolls around and I casually watch a movie with a coworker. One who has been flirting with me for some time (but don't they all). This one is extremely sweet and not unattractive. I sometimes fantasize about a relationship with him where he is giving and affectionate and kind (like my first love) and I want to be more open minded but I'm hooked on the facts that he listens to butt rock, used to have hair down to the middle of his back and his ex girlfriend used to beat his ass when she was drunk. As I type this, I shake my head and roll my eyes because tomorrow we are going on another date, to watch a real movie. He's so sweet. I already know the answer to my next question, but lets ask it for insanity sake....I can't even type it. I doubt he's the one. Plus we work together. FAIL.

How about the guy that lives next door? Who? Oh the one that moved in last month with the help of his girlfriend (apparently "at the time") and who I've seen a bunch as I run in and out of my house in my pajamas to take out the trash or get my laundry who just knocked on my door today to say hello. I was so caught off guard I didn't even recognize him at my front door. It took me a second to place him. Five minutes before I had to run to work, I (of course) invite him in. We chat awkwardly for about 3 minutes, in which amount of time he reveals he wants to get to know me better and asks if my favorite color is blue because of my new blue car and the blue medallion he noticed hanging in the rear view mirror. His favorite color is blue too. I was flattered for sure, as I was with the singer at the coffee drink, grabbing my hand to kiss me assertively, as I was when my coworker shyly worked in a second movie date and as my neighbor told me out right no minced words he was interested in getting to know me.

My roommates just left for Mexico this morning. The house to myself! Just kidding, they invited someone to stay here and watch their dog. WHA?!? W. T. F. So she's lounging in her jammies holding a 40 watching VH1 Sober house with me, when she sees some dude that's been on sober house 4 times! She was like, "hey, wasn't that guy on there before?" And I was like "ya! He's been on there 4 times!" And she was like, "he's the lead singer from Crazytown."

And immediately I thought, that's kinda funny (I wanted to use the word ironic, but I'd probably use it incorrectly and everyone hates when someone uses it incorrectly and then they have to have the WHOLE conversation about how it's NOT ironic and then we have to talk about Alannis Morriesett, so to save you all that fiasco, I'll stick with the word funny) that his band is called Crazytown and that by repeating his same behavior of drug use and expecting different results is the epitome of crazy or the "crazytown" he lives in. And then I thought...shit....maybe I should change my name. Or maybe I should just change.